Thanks Mom… :):)

This poem I wrote for my mom on her birthday yesterday…and she really liked it…so I thought maybe I should share it too… :)

When the world was too small to live in,                            
When the future was too blurred to see,
And when the truth was so difficult to believe in,
Thanks mom for always being there for me...

Thanks mom for holding my weak little hand,
When the time was hard and it was so difficult to walk,
Thanks a lott for lending me your sweet voice,
When I was a kid and had just started to talk...

Thanks for all the advice thanks for all the care,
Without which I would be lost by now,                          
For listening to my boring stories from here and there,
And making my life so simple somehow...

Thanks for the words of courage that you gave,
When I was down and in a lonely form,                              
For never before i could feel so brave,                      
Never before I could face such a raging storm...

Thanks for everything that you always did,
Thanks for everything that you still do,
For forgiving all my mistakes and for being the lead,
I could have done nothing without you...

May god shower his choicest blessings on you this day,
May all our prayers and all your wishes be heard,
And hope you have a great birthday today,
Fitting the greatest mom in the world...

Stuck on you...

Jus some random thoughts...maybe worthy enough to be given some space...might connect with many people... at least i hope so... :)

Even when all the things have become all right,
And the only worries are so few,
Even when the skies have become so bright,
With no signs of troubles that i once knew...


Still everything does not seem to be fine,
Still it's hard to believe that it is so true,
Maybe since i know it at the back of my mind,
Still, i just hope that i am not stuck on you...


So long it must hav been,
Now I thought maybe i was fine again,
I knew my troubles were only to be seen,
Somewhere down the memory lane...


Then why do i feel the tears drop by,
And why do i think the world is not sane,
Even though there is no reason to cry,
Why am i still feeling this weird pain...?


Maybe it has something to do with your pretty face,
Or maybe because the charm around you has increased even more,
Cuz whenever you look at me I may show no trace,
Of how much helpless the heart becomes to the core...


Sometimes i think there is nothing to fear,
But at times i feel all tired and drained,
And maybe it will take more then one year,
For everything to be all right again...


I wish i could read out my mind,
Oh how i wish, if i only knew,
For i had never known a feeling of this kind,
Still, I jus hope i am not stuck on you...

Because you are not a Monk...

The universe can be strange at times and people may have great fears hidden deep inside them. Fears that are unspoken and unheard of. Though one may never realise what might frighten a person the most...it can be anything...from a living thing to some abandoned place...or anything else...

So it was another stormy night...the rain poured down the windshield of his car enabling him to see only for a brief second when the wipers moved left to right...another lightening flashed across the sky...and he kept praying against hope that the storm wouldn't get any more worse...
But it did...and even from inside his car with the AC and everything on he could hear the wind howling outside...the raindrops were striking the windows as if to say,"what are doing inside you coward...come out and face it...."

He couldn't believe he was stuck in this situation...only this morning he was making plans to attend his best friends wedding. Every important meeting  that day was cancelled, he couldn't afford to miss this wedding. Who cared for the small amount of loss that might incur in his business anyways...after all such a small loss would hardly matter to such a big company that he owned...

But now he was driving an endless road through a thick forest without even knowing if he was going right way...he was completely lost. He wished he had never taken the shortcut, now if anything were to happens to the car here, how helpless he would be, he thought.
And just as these thoughts escaped his mind the engine sound began to grow weaker,it began to splutter and after giving 2-3 jerks the car stopped.
As tension began to rise through his head he began to turn the car key again and again in the clockwise direction...but in vain...it just wouldn't start
'oh my god...!!...what am i gonna do now??'...he cried cursing his fate.
And again just as if to answer him he heard a faint gong of a distant bell echoing through the forest...was it a gong??...no how can that be...in the forest??...well that's impossible...
But no,there he heard it again...
Curious to know more he opened his umbrella and stepped out of the car and looked around in the direction from where the sound came from...He could see some distant lights through the trees...should he follow them?...maybe he could get some help from there...
So he started walking towards them...the storm grew worse and it was difficult even to see what was in front of him...
Finally after 10-15 mins of tiring walk he reached a clearing...he noticed that the lights were coming from some oddly shaped windows...strange he thought...
*crack*...the fork of lightening across the sky made him realize that the windows actually belonged to a huge old fashioned mansion...but that wouldn't scare him off after the troubles he took to reach the place...

He went on and knocked what seemed to be a brass knocker on a huge wooden carved door. An old bald man with an oil lantern opened the door.
'how can i help you son?' he asked with a surprisingly peaceful and soothing voice.
'sir my car is broken down on the road outside and i badly need some help'
'but there is nothing we can do right now, maybe you should rest here tonight and we'l see what we can do tomorrow...'
'ohh i would greatly appreciate that...how can i ever thank you...my name is Sid btw'
'no need to thank me son...this is a god's place and its our karma to help the ones in need...'
Without wanting to know what the old man meant he silently followed a servant who led him to his room. It was an old fashioned room with some candles burning on some stone ledges and a small bed. No fans, no tube-lights. But soon Sid was fast asleep in his cozy bed...
And before he knew what was happening he was sitting bolt upright staring around...not sure of what waked him up he glanced at his watch in the dim candlelight. 3:00AM. The rain and the storm had stopped and an eerie silence had descended the place.

And then he heard it...a spine-chilling scream that would cripple the bravest men...it sounded neither male nor female...neither human nor wild...as if somebody is crying from an endless agony...an unending pain...crying for help...

And just as it started it stopped...Sid was rooted to the spot...his heart was pounding so fast as if he was running for a hundred miles. After gaining some courage in a couple of minutes he went to the door and tried to open it.
Locked.
Now who on earth would do that. Maybe the old man didn't want him to help whatever that was screaming...maybe it was the the old man himself...or maybe he was just hearing things like before?? No, no that can't be true...
With no option left he tried to go back to sleep,but couldn't. The scream kept on playing over and over in his head...

Next morning he heard footsteps approach his room. And the door opened and the old man was standing at the doorway.
'So are you going to tell me what that scream was about??...or shall i find out myself??' Sid bellowed angrily.
'My son,forgive me for not telling you about this place, but honestly you looked really tired last night. This is a monastery son and i and my brothers who live here are all monks. We have shed all our wealth and bonds with our family and have come in peace with God...'
'okay whatever...but i want to know about that scream...'
'this place is older then it looks my son...the scream is what you should choose to forget. The deepest secret hidden in the last room down the hallway can be known only by a monk. And I can't tell you because you are not a Monk. Now, my servant has repaired your car. You must leave...'
Sid understood there was no point in arguing with the old monk, there was a sound of determination his old cracking voice. After leaving the monastery he was even more shocked to see that his car started fine. 'I have to forget this incident,it's just a bad dream...' he thought

But no he couldn't forget it even at his friends wedding. The sound of the  scream in his head seemed to be louder then the wedding shennais playing around. It seemed to play again and again in his mind even at work, while having food, while going to sleep, every time. The more he tried to ignore it, the more the scream seemed to captivate his mind. He became prisoner of his own thoughts...

He knew he had to know about it, there was no escape. So he split up his company shares and all his property among his friends and relatives and decided to go to the monastery again. He had now decided that he would become a monk...

Somehow he reached the monastery again dead in the night. It was pitch dark. He knocked on the the brass knocker and yet again the old monk opened the door. He smiled seeing Sid as if he knew what had happened.
'You answered Lord's calling Son' said he with the same calm and soothing voice.
'Yea you can say that. Now what else i have to do become a monk...?'
Some rituals followed wherein his head was shaved clean and he was made to undertake some vows pledging a complete surrender to God.
'Okay now my son do you really want to know what  lies beyond that corridor??...remember once you see it there is no looking back..."
"Yes i am sure..." Sid said unsure if it was his own voice that had just answered.
 "All right then...Follow me.."

And before he knew it he was following the old man across the familiar corridor beyond the room he had slept once, and stopped in front of a very primitive door of a room. Something about the door gave Sid a feeling that something was not right and whatever that is behind the door should be left alone. But no, he had come too far now. His heart was beating so hard that he was surprised to see how the monk couldn't hear it...
'I can understand what brought you towards this place my son, but whatever you are going to see or experience now, you should be brave enough to take it...' the monk warned him.
And then the old man opened the door...what Sid saw inside scared the daylights out of him...it shook his very faith in God...but it couldn't be possible...how can it be...
It was...


But of course you can't know that...because you are not a monk...!!

Just before the exams....

Exams...a time during which the days don't end at all and the nights are over before could get proper sleep...well this one i wrote before the sems...during the start of study holidays...it illustrates student's two different the states of mind...although the tension is always there...you tend find more reasons to waste your time in any senseless activities then to utilize it properly...just before the 'serious studying' part begins...;)

Just before the exams,
My brain starts going crazy,
There is a huge pile of notes staring from a distance,
But the world can get so lazy...


Just before the exams,
After toiling for 15mins i say 'ohh i have studied so much',
And then the 'breaks' can extend for hours,
And again the books are left to be touched,


Just before the exams,
the weather starts getting so good,
A perfect day to hang out with friends maybe,
Watch some movie and enjoy some food...


Just before the exams,
My idiot bro gets so many games to play,
Then 'CJ Johnson' starts completing his missions,
And i have nothing more left to say...


the television also plays tricks with me again,
And everything on it turns out to be so great,
I even start watching tom n Jerry and Ben-10,
And then it starts getting too late...


Now the days are getting under pressure,
And notes at last are getting sorted out,
At last i try to find the value of 'x',
Breaking my useless head, trying not to shout...


Such are the study 'holidays' of ours,
And though they don't cause much harm,
You can't even relax a bit and enjoy them,
For you know exams are left to come...

Givin' Up.....

Why did it ever start?
When it had to end this way?
Cant imagine what had got over me,
To think things might be true one day...

I cant understand what's wrong with you,
Or why are you acting like this with me,
Everything that i do is for u...
So what is that you can't see?

I have tried everything i could
And used the best advice i could get,
But nothing ever seem to work out
All my plans keep on going bad...

So bad have the times turned up now,
that only your smile for me is enough for the day,
Forget the talking laughing and chatting around,
All those moments are lost and flown away...

My eyes are staring you from a long distance,
That's all i can do right now,
Debating whether if i go and talk with you,
You would move away from that guy somehow...

But no, all paths are shut down,
And the walls are impossible to scale,
My heart is broken, the pieces are shattered,
And all the memories are tarnished and strained...

I am too much tired,too much lonely,
Who knows what might happen in the end,
But now i am worn out and giving up,
Before it is too late for the heart to mend...

The Calling...

The universe can be harsh at times,
And life can move at a lightening pace,
There is no time even to breathe,
And the truth can be hard to face...

But wasn't it just yesterday?
that there were so many people around...
Everything looked so bright and warm,
And no tears were allowed to fall on d ground...

And she seemed to be always there and waiting,
With her eyes shining and smile so bright,
Where oh where r u gone now...?
Was there always something else in sight...?

Nature has her own rules that shouldn't be broken,
And every season has to always change,
Even the time and tide waits at noting,
And so in life u cannot expect such changes to be strange...

But these changes can be so drastic at times,
And noting can be expected to wait,
'Life s a race'...yea that's true,
For u can never defy your own fate...

But always believe in the power of destiny,
And never go down without giving up a fight,
For u can never have control on the beginnings,
But d endings can always be made right...

the leaves may be shed in the autumn,
And then the winters can be long and cold,
The worst will always and soon be over,
and the spring will come, with a new story waiting to be told...:)